"The more we train to see ourselves as such a meditational deity, the less bound we will feel by life's ordinary disappointments and frustrations. This divine self-visualisation empowers us to take control of our life and create for ourselves a pure environment in which our deepest nature can be expressed." -Lama Yesheit's
http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/images/green_tara1.jpg

I have begun to explore the interesting world of Buddhism. My main goal for this exploration is to not let it be just another passing fad or phase in my life. I find the ideals of Buddhism very calming and affective on my life, and, so many times before I have found something that helps me and then given it up in the hectic nature of my world. I don't try to give things up, they just fizzle out because so many other things override them.

To me, that's the beauty of Buddhism ideals, I read a quote in a book I'm reading I don't remember it exactly but it was something to the nature of..."To me, there is no more important being on this earth than myself." I thought about this a lot, because I have lead my life in an in between place for a long time. Trying to be totally selfless, and give for other people with the hopes of getting back. At the same time, doing things primarily that make me happy too. I have had this profound guilt about everything in my life and I think it's because I haven't adopted this notion. This notion that, there should be no one more important to me, than me.

Another notion of Buddhism though is that if you are always kind to yourself and in tune with your own thoughts and needs, this will project on those around you. A kind of inner peace that enlightens all those around you and who you love. How better can you give back to those you love, than by being free and happy enough within yourself to be the best and give the most to others. I feel that if someone tries too hard to please everyone around them, and themself, the conflict that is created makes mush out of the person. That person is useless to them self and those around them.

So, this is my official, documented statement that I will not let these ideas fall by the wayside, and I will continue to know that to me, there is no one more important, than me.

: ) Peace : )